I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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