If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
