There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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