How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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