just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
