hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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