did you get engaged???
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
