Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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