You really coming over, don't trick.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
