You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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