I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
