I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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