I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
there was a trapeze. enough said
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
