she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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