i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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