i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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