Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
