I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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