it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
