Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
