Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
