who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
