I can tuck mytits in my pants
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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