I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
