Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
