hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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