Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
