Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize