Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life