I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
