SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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