Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize