I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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