If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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