Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
