Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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