SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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