O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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