seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
