College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
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I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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