Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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