i just google imaged poop.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
