The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
