Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
