in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
