btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
