Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
