there's paper in my vomit.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
