That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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