need another drink. this is the easiest way
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
