Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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