the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize