I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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