She's JV to your varsity
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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