DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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