Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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