You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
